My grandmother passed away a couple weeks ago. I cried a lot those first couple of days, but then it was time to put my game-face on because I had residency and school stuff to get through. I couldn’t be a weeping, crying mess and expect to pass and function.
My family had her remains cremated so that services could be postponed for a bit and allow people who wanted to travel to make arrangements.
Which is the real reason why I’m in Vegas.
Don’t get me wrong, hanging out with @ktjnwow has been a blast. She’s amazing company and I enjoy talking with her a lot. But she’s doing me a bigger favor by giving me a place where I can sleep and shower.
Tonight (Friday) I’m supposed to make my way to my uncle’s home and look through my grandma’s things to see if there’s anything I’d like. I can’t help but feel this is like vultures picking at a carcass. I know that’s not the case, but there’s that part of me that thinks that way.
She passed peacefully in her sleep. She lived a good long life, and I know that she wasn’t want for anything. My grandfather passed away a few years ago, but for some reason I didn’t have the same kind of reaction.
My grandma is the reason why I started to crochet. She used to make these blankets and was always working on one of them for the grandkids. During my shitty post-high school years I didn’t realize what she invested in that blanket and I gave it away because I couldn’t fit it in my car one night when I was moving in an emergency. When I picked up crochet, years later, I remembered that blanket. And I’m mad because I have no idea where it is. And I can never get it back.
My grandma got the first amigurumi I ever made. It’s ugly and hideous, but is a symbol of my desire to be better and get better. I had always planned on making another one for her.
It kind of sucks when that happens, you know? When it happens unexpectedly, like most things in life. It forces you to deal with the inevitability of death and the certain future that we all have. And while I know she loved me and she knows I loved her, I wish I had had one more chance to see her and hang out. I loved hearing her stories. She was so kind of generous. She made me laugh.
I’m mad at myself for taking for granted that she would be here when I visited again. I’m sad I can’t say good-bye. I’m pissed because she was a lovely woman and she’s gone now, leaving the world a little less of a good place in her absence.
This post is part of the #Blaugust series.
There is a rising sentiment among gamers that I feel is problematic, and, well, downright shitty. And that’s entitlement.
People are very passionate and attached to some of their games. I feel like it happens significantly more with WoW than it does most other games. I understand that attachment. It’s been around for so long and it has become such a huge part of our lives. It’s sometimes how folks met their best friends, their significant others, and their families. It is important to many people.
The thing that folks are forgetting is that it is just a video game. It’s part of our lives, yes, but it is a consumer product at its core.
It’s a human thing to give sentimental meaning to innanimate objects. People do this with a ton of stuff, and is, in part, the basis for hoarding behavior (admittedly hoarding becomes about non-sentimental objects too). People attribute meaning to those objects and they have inflated value because of it. Other people see that movie ticket stub and for them, it’s trash. But for the person keeping it, it’s a date with a loved one, or a spark for other memories.
WoW is this for many people. There are fond memories as well as frustration and annoyance. The game, either through it’s story or the game itself, has sentimental value for each person who plays, in some form or another.
For some that sentimental value has turned into entitlement. And shitty assholic behavior.
I’m going to reiterate this because I feel as though people forget this point far too often. WoW is still, and will always be, a consumer product.
The nostalgic memories and the sentimental value of WoW will vary for everyone, because the experience of playing varies with everyone. That doesn’t diminish the value for one person and make it less or more than the value for another person. It just seems like oner person values it more than another person because of that sentiment.
And regardless of what value it holds for each person, the one thing that needs to seriously stop is the belief that Blizzard, it’s employees, and WoW owe people anything. The belief that they do is really just your shitty entitlement showing through. People need to let that nonsense go.
When was the last time a doctor told you that recovery from an illness was going to be 4-6 weeks, but it took longer than that? Did you show up at the doctor’s office, frothing at the mouth and screaming at them for not holding up to their “promise” that you’d recover in a certain time frame? Or how about when you went to take your car to the mechanic… and they said it would be ready in 2-3 hours. You come back after 2 hours and when your car isn’t ready, so you scream and yell at people? Do you threaten to just not pay them? Drag your car to the next mechanic that can fix it in 2 hours instead of 3 or maybe even 4 hours? Do you call them names? Threaten their lives? Exclaim how much they deserve to have horrible things happen to them?
It just feels like more and more the WoW playerbase feel entitled to content when they want it, and how they want it, and The Company Blizzard isn’t allowed to make any changes without first consulting the millions of players who all want, and value, different things about the game.
TL;DR: You’re not entitled to shit. You’re not entitled to shit. No matter WHAT you think, you’re not entitled to anything. So stop treating other people like they’ve personally offended you by doing their jobs. Hint: They didn’t.
This post is part of the #Blaugust series.